Hey Honey!
by Susa J
Summary: Alfred manages to coax Arthur to stay the night at his place after a meeting. Things don't quite go as planned. Or do they? It's time to seduce an Artie! USUK, human names used. Includes France, which is a warning itself.
1. Chapter 1

**Look at me starting a fic after a fic! I haven't forgotten my other stories, so don't worry! But I wanted to write this like, right now. It will be not a oneshot, but a twoshot!**

**USUK FTW! 3**

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"Forget it America, I'm not doing it!"

"B-but Artie!" a binder flew past his head, just barely missing.

"Don't. Ever. Use. That. Name. Again!"

"I'm sorry Artie!" another binder, this time China's. It would have hit if the git hadn't dodged it on time.

"Bloody hell Alfred! I said I won't do it, and using that forbidden name won't help you a bit!"

"Arti- Arthur _please_!"

"I am NOT going to help you clean up your house! I've got better things to do! Just because this meeting is being hosted in America doesn't mean I have to play your maid!" Arthur objected and tried to catch his breath. They were both panting as a result of yelling their conversation instead of sitting down to talk about it like responsible adults.

China had to get up to retrieve his binder from where it had been tossed to continue reading it.

"Ah _mon chéri_, if you want, I could snatch you to myself for the rest of the evening. That way you have the proof that you had _something better to do _than cleaning", France purred from his seat next to England and felt up his behind, causing Arthur to jump from his seat with a surprised yelp.

"Don't _ever_ do that again you bloody frog!" Arthur exclaimed and tried to force away the small blush on his cheeks. Of course Alfred did notice it and lifted an eyebrow.

"But Arthur, it's not like we haven't done it before. Wont you come with me and… how should I put it… reminisce old times with me?" Francis pleaded and quickly licked his lips. The blush on Arthur's face only got worse as all the eyes in the room turned to him.

"England has gotten it on with France?" Ivan asked with a childish smile while China looked like he was going to be ill. But Alfred just watched him with a weird expression.

"Oh yes, trés souvent as well. You should have seen the way he used to strip himself from those flashy pirate clothes of his. This man is actually not as innocent as you'd believe. I'm not afraid to say that no other person has ever ridden me with such a skill-", well, would you look at that? Even a nation can be silenced with a well aimed karate chop to the neck. He would have to thank China later. Now only one person was left staring at him while China ran to the nearest bathroom and Ivan poked the unconscious France with a pen. Arthur didn't want to move his head from where he had buried it to his hands.

"…"

"… Arthur?"

"… What?"

"Still busy tonight?"

"No."

Alfred grinned happily and without a thought placed a quick peck on his head. Damn, this was just like those times before Alfred became independent. He would flash a puppy face, knowing that Arthur would always give up in the end and then kiss him when he got what he wanted. Of course, never on the lips, but on his nose, cheek or forehead.

"W-we better get going", Arthur muttered and turned to the doors leading out of the room.

"Yeah!"

* * *

When they reached Alfred's house Arthur immediately saw why his American friend wanted help. He wasn't even inside the house yet, but just seeing the amount of stuff slowly piling to cover the windows was not a good sign.

"Alfred."

"Hm?" the guy hummed as he dug his pockets for keys.

"I'm not going in there. Who knows what diseases that building holds inside", Arthur stated and turned on his heels to walk away, but suddenly felt himself being hoisted over an American shoulder. He sputtered and tried to struggle, angered by the laughter that was coming from Alfred's lips.

They entered the death trap Alfred called home and as he kept kicking he could feel the American pulling off his shoes after getting rid of his own.

"America, let me down right no-OOMPH", he yelped when he made contact face first with something soft the soon realized was a couch. He didn't have any time to react as he got stripped from his coat from behind.

"Alfred!" he growled and the other backed away a few steps."Chill out Artie, I was just gonna take off your coat so you won't feel hot when we start doin' it", Alfred said with a wide grin adoring his handsome face and placed the brown coat over the armrest of a nearby armchair.

"D-do what?" Arthur asked and held back a blush. Surely the boy couldn't mean…

"The cleaning of course! That's why we're here, right?" Arthur mentally face palmed. Of course, cleaning. He was stupid to think anything else.

"R-right", he nodded and unbuttoned his green military jacket, taking it off and threw it on the same armchair that his coat was on. If he had been paying attention he could have seen a slight blush on the younger male's cheeks, but he was too busy rolling up his sleeves. This place really was a mess.

* * *

"R-right", he heard Arthur mutter and shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was beating himself over his choice of words. He didn't mean to voice out his inner thoughts like that! Thank god he managed to fix the situation before Arthur realized why he _really_ got dragger here. The house was a mess, yes, but more than that he had just wanted to spend some _quality time _with his former caretaker. If everything went well, maybe Artie would even spend the night here! In his bed, preferably naked, with hamburger wrappings around him. Some cheese and sauce would drip from those pink lips. Okay, these thoughts were not helping his current plan.

"Y-you know Arthur, it's pretty late already, so maybe you could take the guestroom for the night and we'll start tomorrow? We could spend this evening to just relax", he suggested and Arthur lifted an eyebrow.

"It's five in the afternoon Alfred", the bold stated. Damn, well, maybe he could still save this.

"Y-yeah, but we should totally have dinner first. And t-then we must rest for a bit after eating. Making dinner also takes time, so it'll be like, eight in the evening before you know it!" Good save man, good save. He could see Arthur was thinking of something, and soon enough the man shrugged.

"Okay, I'll sleep here tonight. But let me warn you, I will wake you up early tomorrow, so no watching late night shows again", Arthur warned and Alfred felt like jumping up and down. Artie was staying the night! But in a wrong bed. Damn, that would have to be fixed somehow.

* * *

The dinner went pretty smoothly. Well, at least the eating part. There was a bit fighting while cooking, since neither trusted the other in making it. Now they were sitting on the couch, watching TV. Arthur was sipping on tea and he had a mug of coffee sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. They had both changed into something more comfortable to wear. He had lent Arthur some of his clothes since Arthur's were at his hotel room. The clothes were a bit baggy, but truth to be told, Alfred found this extremely cute. He was happy to think that only he got to see Arthur like this. In your face world! The only person who could have seen Artie like this would be… France. Oh, that's right, Arthur wasn't a holy virgin anymore. Now that he thought of it, surely France wasn't the only person who had slept with Arthur. He felt his mood turning gloomy at once.

"France, eh?" he didn't ever realize he had said it out loud before he heard a 'clonk' and Arthur cursing loudly. He quickly turned to check on the other and saw him hissing and patting on a large wet spot on his thighs. The teacup was lying on it's side on the floor, so it wasn't really that hard to figure out what had happened.

"Eh, Arthur, are you okay? C'mon you need to take those pants off!" he exclaimed and without thinking gripped the waistband of the other's pants, trying to pull them down.

"Eh, ah, A-Alfred!" Arthur cried out and also gripped his pants, trying to keep them on. "S-stop Alfred! L-l-let go!" somehow they had managed to wrestle themselves to a very awkward position with Alfred looming over Arthur and still keeping his hold on the pants with Arthur laying on his back with one leg hanging over the edge of the couch. They had no idea who started it, but it was the last thing on their minds as their lips were crushed in a messy kiss. Arthur had his fingers in Alfred's hair, while his were cupping the older one's face.

"Allll~", Arthur moaned between kisses and heard Alfred let out a content sigh. The younger clumsily licked the lips pressed against his and was surprised when they opened in a flash, like asking for tongue to be inside. Who was he be to deny that request? He eagerly pushed his tongue inside the other's mouth, sweeping the muscle around. The kiss was a lazy one with neither one of them trying to dominate it. Both were just enjoying the closeness and texture of the other's tongue.

"Alfred! S-stop!" Arthur suddenly whimpered and to Alfred's annoyance broke the kiss he had been enjoying. What was this? It's not like Arthur hated it, right? Oh god, the Englishman didn't want this. He had blown his chance to make sweet, **sweet** love to the guy. Somebody must have been laughing at him right now. At least France would when he'd hear about this. Stupid country of 'love'…. More like the country of shameless groping perverts. Oh yeah, he knew what went on under that table in their conference room. And he didn't like it one bit.

"Ouch!" Arthur yelped and his hands shot from their place in Alfred's hair to his own bottom, where the after mentioned man's hands happened to be too. When had they moved there, the American wondered until he felt fingers trying to remove them. That was when he noticed how hard he was gripping the other's firm buttocks. Okay, now it was proven that it was not good to think about disgusting things, -coughFranciscough-, while trying to do the dirty.

"Ahaha! Sorry about that Iggy! But France-"

"You were thinking of that bastard while trying to give me permanent bruises?" England asked in dismay.

"Not like that! I swear Iggy!"

"Stop abusing my name like that already, don't you have any respec-ah!" Arthur was cut off when Alfred slowly massaged his behind. The younger smirked seductively and kneaded the flesh through the fabric with his fingers.

"Oh please Iggy, admit it, you love it when I say your name like this. How could you resist this face~?"

"… Have you got any idea how much you sounded like Francis just now? And back to the topic, how about we play hide and seek because I really don't want to see your face right now", Arthur complained and struggled to get Alfred off of him.

"… Way to kill the mood Iggy", Alfred pouted and made the other roll his eyes.

"That is exactly what I was going for. Now get off me!" The younger frowned at this. Where did he go wrong? Just seconds ago Iggy was no doubt enjoying himself!

"I swear I'll hit you next time I hear that name leave that larger than life mouth of yours", oops, had he said it out loud? Without Arthur's blushed face he would have doubted.

"But yes, it was quite enjoyable for a mistake…" a mistake? Alfred stared at Arthur for the longest time with a weird feeling swirling at the bottom of his stomach. Did Arthur really think of it as a mistake? Arthur wasn't even looking at him. In fact, he was clearly avoiding his gaze. Alfred sighed and lifted himself off of the other. He couldn't - wouldn't force himself on Arthur.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't know what made us do that. I mean, it's not like we're in love or anything", was that his voice?

"Yes, I know…"

Alfred swallowed. This was not going anything like he had planned. It was, he'd be happily pounding Arthur into the couch at the moment, but instead he felt like running to his room and crying his eyes out. What a nice evening. He peeked at the older who had lifted himself to his feet and bent over to pick up the fallen tea cup. One glance to that cute butt helped him to lift his spirits. There was no chance in hell he was giving up yet. That ass was beggin' for an owner, and he'd be damned if it was anyone but him. He was going to woo Arthur Kirkland, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland once and for all.

"I really want to take a shower now, if you don't mind? I want to get rid of these wet pants", now that the Brit mentioned it, Alfred's pants felt a bit damp too, which was weird, because no matter how good he was at kissing, he was pretty sure that it hadn't been enough to make both of them come. He looked down and saw a brown spot on where he'd been grinding their groins together. Under the tea stain his arousal was still clearly visible. Well, things could get awkward. But wait! Maybe he could use this opportunity for his advances. Usually shower sex would come after the main course, but this could work too!

* * *

Okay, it didn't help. His attempts to sneak behind Arthur to the bathroom left him with a red handprint on his face and tears in his eyes. Apparently, when Arthur said no to his begging for a shared shower, he meant it. Oh well, maybe he could ambush a dripping wet Arthur when he came out of the shower. He could like, sneak in, steal the towels, flee, then act innocent when the old man came to yell at hime while butt naked. Hey, that actually sounded pretty good!

* * *

The plan to see Arthur naked was put on motion as Alfred tiptoed to the bathroom and pressed his ear to the door. He could hear the water running, which was good. It signaled that Arthur was indeed taking a shower and while at it, completely unaware of his surroundings. He even left the door unlocked! That was practically an invitation. Hello everyone, a very naked and smoking' hot nation being offered to anyone who happens to walk into the room! Oh crap, he hoped France's sex radar wasn't on duty. If it was, Arthur would be in great danger! As a hero, he couldn't accept that!

"A-ah…!" what was that? A moan-OH SHI- SNAP. It wasn't too late already, right?

"DON'T WORRY ARTHUR. I'LL SAVE… you", he froze. Arthur froze. His hand froze too. Around his leaking member. To which Alfred's blue eyes were glued on. He was right, things did get awkward.

**To be continued.**

* * *

**A cliffhanger! Sorry about the first chapter being so short, but we're just getting started! I promise the next one will be longer!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long wait everyone! I've been working on it every time I've had free time, but I'm not really fond to it. But I'm pretty sure that at the end of this chapter most of you will want to strangle me me so… Enjoy and please don't throw sharp objects at me!**

**Oh, and I tried different style for this chapter, so it's on Al's pov. Please tell me which you liked better, the style on the first chapter or this!**

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It was almost as if the time had stopped. Would have fooled me if it wasn't for the water still running down Artie's body. Lower and lower until my eyes found the reason for this 'more-embarrassing-than-life' -situation. My head shot up and I met the eyes of a furious Englishman. How did Arthur manage to narrow his eyes like that? Man, he looked ready to kill somebody! And I think that might have been me, judging by the way his hand was inching for something, _anything_ to throw at me with enough force to knock out a Russian in rage. Remind me to get Artie to side with me if I ever got into another fist fight with Ivan.

"Umm… France?" I managed to dodge a flying bottle of shower gel while Arthur whipped out a towel from the rack and tied it around his hips. He then screamed something about never mentioning that frog around him.

"Oh c'mon Iggy, everyone gets caught jerking off at least once in their lifetime!" I cried out as I barely dodged another bottle of who-knows-what. I tried to make an escape out of the door, but slipped on something. Oh nice, now I would have to buy more shower gel. But that was the last of my worries when I looked up and saw Arthur looming over me with a… toothbrush?

"I'm going to bloody gouge your eyes out, git", he growled and took a step forward, only to slip on the very same stuff I did. There was a wet slap as his slick back made contact with the floor. Of course, being the hero I am, I had to make sure he was okay."Hey Artie, still have all the gummy bears in the bowl?"

"Oww, what the hell are you blabbering about?" he groaned and rubbed his forearm.

"Oh good, you're OK!" I laughed before struggling to gain my footing on the slippery floor and sprinting out of the room. I heard him cursing before I ran up the stairs to the second floor of the house. But the danger wasn't over yet, I could hear him stomping after me before I got to the landing. Did he even realize he was running around in nothing but a towel? I wonder if I should have warned him about Matthew getting home soon."MAPLE!" too late.

"M-m-m-m-matthew?" well, at least we got that over with. I couldn't help the loud snort that escaped me as I peeked downstairs. Aww, like Spain would say, they looked like a pair of tomatoes! Stuttering little tomatoes! Neither had gotten a full sentence out yet.

"I-I'm sorry Matthew, you weren't supposed to see this", Artie said and tried to pull the towel a bit lower over his legs. How cute! I would have to inform him later of how adorable he was when he got all flustered like that!

"I'm guessing this has something to do with Alfred?" wait what?

"You guessed right", hey hey hey, no blaming me while I'm not present!

"Arthur."

"Yeah?"

"Are you really that happy to see me?" Arthur's eyes followed the invisible line created by my brother's, as did mine. And the next thing I knew I was rolling on the floor and howling with laughter while Artie particularly screamed like a girl and ran back to the bathroom. Sorry Mattie, that happiness was reserved for me.

**

* * *

**

Apparently what my dear brother said banished Arthur's erection for good. After joining us again, -fully clothed this time-, he and Mattie started apologizing each other like there was no tomorrow. I just rolled my eyes and gave both of them pats on the head."Yeah yeah, Mattie, sorry for blinding you with Artie's naked gorgeousness. And sorry Artie for not helping you get rid of your problem myself", I snorted in a sarcastic way and tried to look as innocent as possible while throwing my arms around them. Mattie was faster than me and managed to step away, but Arthur wasn't so lucky. Heh, slow old man.

"Now would you mind if I take him stargazing to my bed?" I asked Mattie and steered Artie towards the stairs.

"B-but Al, you don't have a skylight window!" I heard Mattie stuttering.

"I know, but I'm sure I could make him see stars anyway", I smirked and felt Arthur punch me in the ribs.

"There's no way I'm going anywhere with you, who knows what you might do!" Artie struggled. I groaned inside my head. I wasn't even trying to be smooth anymore, but he still wasn't getting it (or didn't want to). Maybe I should just spell it out for him

"Arthur Kirkland", I started, dead serious. Both blondies turned to stare at me. Oh yes, when I say Arties whole name, shit starts happening.

"You. In my bed. Fast", I said bluntly and with inner amusement waited for their reactions. Mattie was the first one to object, while Artie just had this blank face on. I tuned out Mattie's whining and focused on Artie. It felt like ages before he opened his mouth to say something (most likely rude and/or mean).

"After you've done fucking me to oblivion, what will you do?" he asked. That was unexpected. I had been expecting screaming and blushing (and maybe flying fists).

"Easy, I'll -", _hold you close and lovingly caress you until you fall asleep or feel like another round,_"_- _get some sleep! And in the morning Mattie will make us some delicious pancakes!" I proudly stated, but Artie didn't look too impressed with my plans. He actually looked more like he was about to… cry? I didn't like it at all.

"Iggy…" I tried, but was met by an alarming sob.

"Alfred… I don't want to…" he sobbed, shoulders shaking. I tried not to panic. This wasn't going as I planned at all! He wasn't supposed to start crying for lord's sake! Not yet anyway! His tears of sexual frustration would be much more attractive- ugh, I really should stop thinking about those things with the person in question pressed to my side.

"Artie, what's wrong?" I asked and tried to look at his face, but all I saw was dirty blond hair when he turned it away. I felt a bang of disappointment in my chest.

"W-were finally in good terms again. But if we do this… There's no turning back. We will regret it at one point and we could never be the same. I don't want to lose you again!"

"… Really?" I asked dumbfounded. Was this really how Artie was feeling?

"… Did you really fall for that you fat wanker? Like hell I'd be depressed if you stopped bothering me over games and that thing you call football", Artie growled and brushed the corners of his eyes. I just stared at him, for once my words were lost. The little fucker had the nerve to fake crying to make me feel awful...

Nice one Iggykins!

"Oh you, always such a joker", I burst out laughing and kissed his cheek when he rolled his eyes at me.

"I hate you."

"I love you Artie~", I giggled and tried to kiss him again, but this time he managed to dodge just in time and I ended up kissing the light blue wall of the hallway. Apparently he had escaped from my hold too, for he was now talking with my brother, who was trying to assure him that he didn't need help in cooking dinner. Good boy, keep him out of the kitchen will you, I don't want to replace the oven again.

**

* * *

**

So now that I finally came to the conclusion that the best way to bed Arthur would be as simple as plain action, it was time to start wooing him. It consisted of random pet names, signs of affection and light caresses when he passed by (I think he didn't even notice most of them, so I tried to switch to plain groping, but that only earned me flying fists and high pitched shrieks). Mattie had escaped to the kitchen, actually he had been there for a while now. I wonder what he was doing… Anyway, I was slowly getting a headache from thinking so much. And don't tell that to Artie, he'd laugh me to tomorrow and throw in some clever insults about my ability to use my head. With my current situation, I was starting to worry about becoming perverted like Francis, for I suddenly realized how suggestive my own thoughts sounded. I groaned and Arthur spared me a glance before turning back to the TV. Why, I'm just fine, thanks for the concern!

"Just spit it out git", I lifted my head from the cushions of the couch and lifted an eyebrow at him. Talking about eyebrows, his were twitching again, like always when he was annoyed. Apparently I stared for too long, because he frowned when he noticed what I was giggling at.

"Have you got something to say about my eyebrows?" he challenged me with sharp eyes.

"Yeah, thank god they're still separate."

"What the-?"

"I mean, just think if those babies decided to go unibrow. People would think you have a giant caterpillar on your forehead!"

.

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I have never been as close to death as I was then.

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.

.

.

But I got to touch his nipples through his shirt when he tried strangling me, so it was worth it.

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**I'm so sorry I've taken so long with this! I had no inspiration whatsoever, so it was hard! I don't quite like how this chapter turned out. It's short, confusing and just plain weird. I will re-write it at some point, but I wanted to upload this now, or it would have taken a couple of months more. **

**But think of this as a start of something much bigger! I gave up on this being a two-shot, so many more chapters will come. Some short, some longer, but there will be more!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sososo sorry it took this long! I've been having a major writer's block for a while now, so it was hard to get this chapter out! I kept editing it and I'm trying to write a continuation to my other fic as well.**

**But I'm slowly starting to actually for a plot for this fic (no, I didn't have one yet).**

**I'm trying to update faster after this, but I cant promise anything.**

**Fusososososo~**

* * *

After being sent to heaven and back (I could swear I saw an angel that looked identical to Iggy) by Artie, I spent a good half an hour sitting in the kitchen with a raw steak on my face. Mattie had used a total of 29,5 minutes ranting to me about my sexual harassment towards Arthur, and how he was starting to see me as Francis 2. Of course, that resulted in an awkward moment, seeing as they were shagging and stuff… yeah. Somehow my imagination threw Arthur in there too and I almost gagged. Not to say threesome wouldn't be hot, but I'd much rather keep Arthur all to myself, thank you very much! Meaning that if I ever saw somebody putting their moves on Artie, I'd throw my HERO oath out of the window and beat that motherfucker to next week. Hell, I'd even maul my own clone if I had one that would try to get it on with Artiekins. And what a fight that would be, considering that my clone would be just as possessive about him as I am. Well damn.

"Are you even listening to me?" Mattie fumed and I removed the steak from my swelling cheek. Eww, now half of my face was covered in meat juices. I was grateful when he handed me a moist towel that I pressed to my face in the place of the cool steak. I watched with one eye as Matthew slapped the steak on to the hot pan. I had a feeling that it was going to be mine.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'don't molest Arthur', 'treat him better', 'give him flowers' or something like that", I mumbled with an annoyed undertone. Mattie just stared at me while the steak was happily sizzling away.

"Actually I asked if you'd like a burger to go with your meal, but thank you for reminding me of the situation. So, I what haven't I lectured you about yet?"

I groaned and smashed my face to the cold table.

* * *

I had almost knocked myself unconscious when a scream shaked the whole house. In a flash me and Mattie ran upstairs and to Arties room (where he had gone to sulk before). What waited us there was something neither of us expected.

"Alfred F. Jones, what the hell is that thing?" Artie screeched from his place on top of the dresser. On the floor was the fluffiest and cutest thing I had ever seen in my life.

"It's a ferret Artie", I answered, proud that I got to brag with my knowledge of animals. Arthur looked like he was ready to jump down and slap me across my face.

"I know **what** it is! What I meant was that why is there one in the house?" Artie demanded to know. The small animal tried to climb up the side of the dresser, but failed.

"His name is Capitan Kirk! And he's our beloved pet!" I stated happily and cooed at the little thing when it obviously wanted to get to Artie. Well he would have to wait until Artie decided to come down. Or maybe not, since Mattie walked over and picked him up (Capitan Kirk, not Arthur you silly gooses). At least Artie could come down now.

"I-it tried to harm me! I was just minding my own business and suddenly I had a bloody ferret clawing at my throat", Artie fumed angrily, but climbed down anyway. I laughed and patted his back.

"Oh Artie, always such a drama queen!" I snorted and sent a blinding grin at him. Maybe he would want to be my queen too?

"I'm not kidding! Look!" he shouted and I lifted and elegant eyebrow at him. He pulled aside the collar of his shirt and tilted his head to the side. I immediately had a bunch of dirty thoughts entering my head and I felt like burying my face to the milky skin.

But putting aside my teenage hormones, there really were a few minor scratches on the smooth skin. I was about to say something, until I thought of something better. I let my hormones take over and wrapped my arms around a very surprised Arthur.

"Aww, poor wittle Iggy, does it hurt? Here, lemme kiss it better~!" I cooed and dove for his neck with my lips puckered before he could object. He let out a funny voice when my hot mouth made contact with his skin. His hands flew to my shoulders, trying to push me off, but that changed when I dragged my tongue along one of the scratches. By the time I started sucking on his throat right bellow his jaw line, he was already pulling my body closer to his. Artie was letting out all kinds of sexy noises, and the only thing that could have ruined the moment was my beet red brother staring at us. It wasn't exactly a mood lifter to see your bro's face when trying to get it on with someone.

"Dude, do you mind?" I mumbled against Arties neck and glared at my brother. A grave mistake. As soon as I started talking, Artie started yelling. Thanks a bunch Mattie.

"Get off me you bloody git!" Artie raged and struggled as I decided to wrap my arms around him. Like hell I'd let him go now! Just when it was starting to get good! Why did Mattie have to be such a cockblock.

"Nooo! I dun wanna!" I whined and draped myself all around the brit, making it impossible for him to escape my hold. He immediately started gasping for air and tried to push me off. He wheezed something about needing air but I held him in place. Who knows when my next chance would come? I was gonna snuggle Artie and that's it.

"Maybe it's time for me to go and check on the fo- OH GOD THE STEAK", Mattie ran downstairs just as the burnt smell of something invaded the room. Arthur used my confusion to his advance and wiggled away from me. I just stared at him until he became uncomfortable and slightly pink in the face.

"W-what is it?" he asked and my face broke into a giant grin.

"Looks like your cooking skills are contagious just from being in the same room."

"WANKER!" I laughed and dodged his fist.

"AUGH", too bad he wasn't fast enough to dodge himself.

"NO, bad boy Capitan Kirk, stop! Let go of Artie's face!"

* * *

"By the way Artie, I couldn't help but notice something while treating yo battle wounds from the episode with Capitan Kirk", I wondered aloud at the dinner table. Mattie had actually managed to salvage the food, maybe because Artie had been too absorbed in fighting Kirk, that his food poisoning-vibes ceased. Artie snorted at the term I had used but decided to humor me anyway by signaling me to continue.

"Ya still have the earring hole on your ear. Could you still use one, or has it closed already?" I asked and continued stuffing my face with the burger Mattie had made me. He lifted one impressive brow and scowled.

"Yes, I can, but I won't", he said and cut another piece of his steak (not the one that had been on my face, that was on my plate as predicted). Now was my turn to pout.

"Aww, but Artie! I wanna see you wearing an earring like you used to when you were still a pirate!" I whined.

"Well it seems like you still remember it well enough. Now bugger off, I'm trying to enjoy my dinner", he ended the conversation. I wasn't ready to give up yet thought. I would make him wear one before he left back for England.

* * *

To set my plan to motion, I had breezed out of the front door into the cool yard. After a moment I had to run back to get my shoes thought, but at let Arthur was the one to open the door for me (I kinda forgot to take the keys too). Oh, and my wallet.

* * *

Being a nation had it's perks, like having more stamina than an average person. It came handy at situations like these. I ran all the way from my house to one of the finest jewelry stores in New York, and I didn't exactly live in the heart of the city. Unlike what most thought, I was not the type to enjoy the constant city life. I liked living in a simple (not too small thought) house at the borderlines of the city.

I wiped off the sweat that had formed on my forehead and panted for a moment before getting myself together and entering the store. I was greeted by a middle aged woman as soon as I stepped a foot inside.

"Good evening sir, could I help you with something?" I was too busy ogling at the jewelry covered shelves to fully register I was being talked to. There was bling fucking everywhere! I'd be amazed if I didn't sparkle like the dude from that vampire book when I finally got out.

"Sir?" I snapped out of it and turned to the woman. According to her nameplate her name was Bertta. The woman had her grayish-brown hair in a neat bun and a pair of brown eyes stared back at me.

"Oh, hey there… Bertta", I read the nameplate once more to be sure I had the name right.

"I'm actually looking for a gift for someone… special."

* * *

I whistled a happy tune as I walked up the couple of stairs to the front porch of my house. I had taken a cab back when I was done with my little shopping spree. After getting my gift for Artie, I saw a nice pair of jeans in a nearby shop. Then some cool sunglasses. Then I became hungry and went for a bite to McD's. So it was pretty late now and a part of me wished that Artie would still be up, while another part of me hoped he was asleep so my mission would be easier.

I inspected a small box in my hand, while my other was holding a paperback full of cheeseburgers. The nice lady from the jewelry store had even wrapped it in gold paper and tied an emerald green ribbon on the small box. The contents of the box weren't too impressive, just a golden ring, an _earring, _mind you. A golden earring worth more that anybody would pay for one. But my Artie only deserves the best after all!

I was just about to unlock the door when it suddenly opened and I saw green.

"Are you actually going to come inside, or are you going to spend rest of the night daydreaming and staring at the bloody door?" Arthur asked without actual annoyance in his voice. I smirked.

"Sorry Artie, I was too lost in thoughts about you that I completely spaced out for a moment~", I purred and closed the distance between us. He moved aside when I passed him and started to undo my shoelaces. He quickly closed the door and brushed past me to the living room, but I was happy to notice how red his face was while doing so.

I took the hamburgers with me to the living room and hid the box in my jacket pocket. I offered Artie a burger, but he declined. I tried again and after some persuasion (forcing him to take a bite from mine. Indirect kiss by the way, so for a moment I was happy), he finally took one and slowly unwrapped it as if in fear that it would bite him. Well I guess in Soviet Russia it would, but we were in the US now!

"C'mon Artie, it's all good, your stuffy old heart won't pop just from one burger", pouted and watched him fight his urge to fling the thing away from him. I was already on my third burger and he had yet to nibble on his! "Artie, I warn you. If you don't start eating, I'll think your old teeth won't handle it and I'll chew it for you and feed it to you like a mommy bird would her kids", I said with my mouth full of fries. It was a gift that I could for perfect sentences while stuffing my mouth. Artie looked a tad (okay, a lot) disgusted by me and then scowled at his burger before taking a careful bite. I could see something flash in his eyes before he slumped sideways on the sofa.

"Eh, Artie?" I asked him, surprised. I got a little worried when I didn't receive an answer.

"D-don't tell me you really had a heart attack!" I cried out and flipped him to his back. He wasn't breathing. Oh what to do! I was so busy panicking that I didn't notice a single eye of his slide open halfway and a sly smirk touching his lips.

"Got yo-"

"CPR!" I cried out before smashing my mouth on his.

* * *

Ooh, his lips were warm. This felt nice, with him kissing back and all- wait, what?

I pulled back and saw him blushing madly.

"… Artie, if you wanted me to kiss you, you could have just said so. Faking dying is not very romantic", I scolded him and ignored his wide eyed look.

"I wasn't trying to get you to kiss me you wanker! I was merely trying to-mmph!" I lowered my face to kiss him again.

"But I don't mind Artie, kissing you feels good!" I grinned before getting smacked in the face with a hardly touched burger.

"Just stop!" I liked some sauce off my lips before taking a burger of my own and rubbing it on Artie's cheek. He gasped and tried to push my hand and the cheeseburger away. No such luck. I smeared the sauce all over the other half of his face before bending down and dragging my tongue along his jaw. Once again I was sure that nothing would stop us this time, at least until a shadow covered us. I looked up and my eyes narrowed.

"Matthew Williams, you're so dead", Mattie screamed and ran up the stairs to his room while I aimed hamburgers at him.

* * *

**I'm so sorry for a short chapter guys! I know I said I'd make it longer, but I couldn't wait anymore to post it, and I saw this as a good place to end the chapter! I PROMISE TO MAKE THE NEXT ONE LONGER, I PROMISEEE. You are allowed to smack me if I don't.**

**Peace out dudes and dudettes.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay people, it's been a while but now I'm ready to continue thanks to those lovely people who gave me suggestions! I apologize that I couldn't include every suggestion in this chapter, but I might use some of them in the following chapters! Also, I'm sorry if this chapter disappoints you, I was pretty eager to get this out so I apologize beforehand. **

**I'd like to thank the following people for ideas that I used for this fic:**

**demomict**

**karatekid369 **

**Yaoi-san and Minty-san**

**Ara**

**I altered and mix and matched couple of the ideas to fit this fic, but the idea came from them, so applauds for them, they made this chapter possible!**

**Okay, I'm done blabbering now, on to the fic!**

**Please enjoy**

* * *

Mattie was dead. I'd rip his nuts out and feed them to him. Served with maple syrup he oh so loves. Peanuts and syrup sounded pretty yummy now hat he thought it.

I could hear Artie shouting something after me as I sprang from the couch and ran upstairs to kill my brother with my bare hands. The sooner my brother was out of the way, the sooner I'd get laid. Of course I could get laid anytime I want, but I didn't want just anyone, I wanted Arthur Kirkland, the fucking United Kingdom! But as long as Mattie is alive, I'll be the one with blue balls, for he seems to have some kind of a radar considering Artie's chastity being in danger.

I want to have Arthur under me, panting, whining and screaming my name like a wanton whore. I want to see his faze scrunched up in ecstasy as I pound into him so hard his whole body rocks back and front. He'd fail so much while trying to hide all the marks I left on his skin and a text on the back of his neck would be written with permanent marker. The words 'Property of USA' would give the other nations a clue to back away.

"I'm sorry Alfred, I didn't mean to interrupt you!" I snapped out of my daydreams and found myself staring at Mattie's door. How long had I stood here? Meh, whatever.

"Just you wait Maple-sucker, you'll have to leave that room sometime, and I'll be waiting. Downstairs. With Iggy. Just so you know!" That should do it. I doubt he'd come out for a while and if he did, he'd know where he wasn't needed.

Just to make my point I kicked at the door just lightly enough to leave a dent and scare whatshisface. I made my way back downstairs and Arthur sitting on the sofa, proper as ever with his legs crossed and straight back. He was watching TV and it seems like I had spaced out upstairs long enough for him to clean up the burger wraps and wash his face. It seemed like he was now watching news or something similarly boring. I sneaked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"ARTIEEEE~""GET OFF ME!" he screamed and tried to hit me with his fists. Well, me being behind him gave me the element of surprise so I grabbed his wrists and brought them to his chest so I could continue hugging him from behind.

"Aww, but Artie, I'd much rather get off on you", I wiggled my eyebrows even thought he couldn't see it. I heard him snort and his struggles ceased.

"Whatever you dolt, just please use those cheap lines on somebody else", Artie grumbled but quickly silenced himself when I gave the top of his head a quick peck before throwing myself over the back of the couch. My head landed just perfectly on his lap, but my joy didn't last long before I was pushed off the piece of furniture. I literally rotfl-ed before pulling myself back up and settled next to Artie.

"So whacha watching?" I asked even thought I wasn't interested in the slightest.

"Just the news, there' something abo-", I stopped paying attention to him when it clicked. My next plan! Scary movies where the answer! Artie would totally be scared out of his mind and cling to me! It always worked in the movies!

"Hey Artie, let's watch a horror movie!" I piped up without caring if I cut him off or not. Apparently I did seeing his glare. It did however change into a light frown when he recalled my idea.

"Will that be such a good idea Alfred? I mean, it's pretty late and you always freak out pretty badl-", I cut him off once again.

"Ahahahaha, nonsense! C'mon Artie, pwease?" I laughed it off and sent him my famous kicked puppy face I knew he could never resist.

"I- I really- it's not a- Oh bollocks, do whatever fancies you!" he huffed and crossed his arms while looking away. Yay, score for me!

* * *

"ARTHUR SAVE ME THEY'RE COMING!"

"Alfred."

"SHIT HIS HEAD- DIDDYA SEE THAT? SCARY!"

"Alfred, that hurts-"

"SCARYYYYYYYYYYY-"

"ALFRED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SOON I'LL BE IN TEARS IF YOU DON'T BLOODY RELEASE MY ARM!" Arthur yelled and pried my fingers from his forearm. I shaked and tried to press myself as close as possible to him. Okay, he was gasping against the armrest but not the way I wanted. BUT NOW WASN'T THE TIME FOR THIS THE MOVIE WAS TOO FREAKING SCARY.

"That's it, I can't take this anymore", Arthur wheezed and wiggled his hand from my blanket covered grip to grab the remote and turned off the TV. The second silence took over the room I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at him puzzled.

"Artie, why'd you turn it off, it's a good movie?" I asked but my grip on him didn't ease. He looked pretty annoyed but at the same time I saw something in those eyes that I couldn't name.

"Are you stupid or what, clearly that film is too much for you to handle", he scoffed and brushed hair off my face.

"Besides it's late already, I should head for bed and you should too", he sighed and tried to stand up, too bad I was too strong for him so he fell right back down and in a flash had his arms full of a terrified American.

"NO, what kind of a heartless monster are you? You can't (leave me alone) be alone after that! The killer always strikes after a horror movie!" I cried and held fast onto his shirt. I felt a pat on my blanket covered head and looked up.

"Alfred, this isn't a movie. I know that I'm going to regret this as soon as I say this but… Would you like to sleep in the guestroom with me tonight? I don't want you to bother poor Matthew with your restless sleeping habits", Arthur asked and I couldn't help but be just slightly shocked. After all the harassment I've put him through today, he was still willing to share a bed with me.

"… I'd like that", I answered in a small voice and shifted a bit to give him room so he'd get up.

"Let's go then, I'd hate to stay up any longer. We have an early meeting tomorrow so we'll have to wake up soon", Artie said and placed the remote he had been holding back to the table. I quickly jumped up from the sofa, still wrapped in that blanket, and hurried after him before he had the chance to turn off the lights in the living room. As we left the room my hand automatically searched for his as I glanced around warily. I stopped him before any corners to make sure nobody was waiting there with an axe or something similar. I knew I was annoying him, but I guess he just decided to humor me for now.

* * *

We made it to the guestroom in one piece much to my relief. Needless to say I was happy to get into a space where I could see the whole room from bed. It was kinda hard in my room because… well… I wasn't the cleanest nation on earth and Mattie's will to clean only lasted so long. Hence why downstairs was messy enough for me to use it as an excuse to invite Artie to clean it up. I had actually hoped that he would clean it but that could wait for now, it's not like it bothered Mattie so much since he spent pretty much of his time at Francis'. But back to what I was doing before, when coming upstairs Arthur had insisted to make a stop at the bathroom to brush his teeth. Heh, old man. He also lectured me about taking care of my teeth, but gave up after I flashed him my pearly whites close up. Brushing my teeth once a day was good enough okay? Rest of the day was taken care of with breath mints.

As soon as I saw the bed I made a dash for it and fell face first onto it when my feet got tangled in my blanket. From the corner of my eyes I could see Artie rolling his eyes at me but also trying to resist a small smile. What bothered me a bit thought was when he turned his back to me and I heard him mumbling something about a permanent child. I hid my face in the comforter but rustling brought my attention back to him. I lifted my head and almost wolf whistled. Oh Iggy, you really think it's wise to remove any clothing before my hungry eyes? Haven't you learned anything today?

I watched him removing his button up slowly, almost as if being shy. He had his back to me so I couldn't see his face, but I'm guessing he was blushing pretty madly. He probably knew I was watching. I had seen him shirtless before, he was just the right amount toned but still nicely slender.

I almost giggled when Arthur started taking off his pants. Honestly did this guy have any idea how alluring this little striptease of his was even if he wasn't intending it. Oh, are those Union Jack boxers I see? I snickered and he quickly threw on his pajamas. I pouted when he spun around and glared at me.

"Aww, Artie, your face is all red~", I teased and smiled brightly. He flashed me this sugary sweet smile in return and flicked the lights off. I screamed and hid under my blanket once more. Not soon after I was sent tumbling over the side of the bed when Artie pulled the comforter from under me. Geez, how many times was he going to make me smash my face against the floor during his stay? He was such a rude guest. I struggled to get out of my blanket and most of my clothes before diving under the covers that Artie was holding up for me.

"Keep that up and you'll sleep alone", he warned me and laid down on his side of the queen sized bed. I made myself comfortable and faced the wall opposite of him. Obviously I wasn't getting any tonight.

"Hey Arthur?" I asked him after a while. I heard him mumble something in return. He was pretty much half asleep already.

"Have you noticed that you haven't been scolding me for calling you Artie for a while now?" I asked and turned to lie on my back. I stared at the ceiling for a moment before he grunted an answer.

"… Don't think anything of it."

I waited until I heard his breathing even out, signaling that he had fallen asleep before smiling slightly.

"Wouldn't dream of it Artie."

.

.

.

.

.

Something tapped against the window.

"ARTIE WAKE UP THE DEMONS ARE COMING!"

* * *

In the morning I woke up to a very sticky situation. Literally, I was sweating pretty nicely. Why was it so hot now anyway? I looked down only to realize that I had fallen asleep with my glasses on. Even through my blurry vision I could see a mob of dirty blondie hair resting against my chest. What the- _oh! _That was Artie wasn't it? I peeled my arm from around his shoulders, grimacing at the sound it created. And ran my fingers through his messy hair. My other arm was still asleep as if trying not to wake Artie who was using it as a pillow. Even our legs were tangled together and his arms were sandwiched between us .I made sure he was still asleep and buried my nose to his hair while my arm made it's way back around him.

I smiled and gave his hair a couple of lights pecks. I didn't get lucky last night after all, but for this I didn't mind having skipped the sex part.

I was just about to drift back to lala-land when a small noise escaped from Artie. From experience from when I was a kid I knew that he wasn't the sharpest pencil in the bunch when he woke up like most seemed to think. Now who would I be if I didn't take advance of that?

"Good morning sunshine~", I cooed and felt giddy when he just grumbled and snuggled closer. I decided to push my luck just a bit longer.

"Sweetie, where's my morning kiss~?", I fake whined and grinned when a hand started searching for my face. Artie moved his hand blindly up my chest and neck until it found my jaw. He leaned up with his eyes closed an pressed a lazy kiss to my puckered lips before sliding back down to press his face to the crook of my neck. Wasn't my Artie just the sweetest little thing when he wasn't shouting profanities and hitting me with things?

I decided it was time for me to flee before he'd wake up any more, so I gently pried his arms from my waist and slid out of the bed. If I was lucky Artie wouldn't remember this later. As quickly as possible I left the room and headed straight downstairs to cook something for breakfast. We wouldn't want Artie to try and poison me the first thing in the morning _if_ he happened to remember what I fooled him into doing back upstairs.

Not that his usual cooking didn't have poisonous effects too.

The first thing I did when I got ton the kitchen was to put on an apron. A manly apron I tell you! It was dark blue and stuff. With white stars. Pretty patriotic dare I say.

I took out a frying pan and placed it on the stove. I heard slight tumbling from the stairs as I went to the fridge. I wasn't too worried since I didn't hear any cursing, instead slight tapping against the floor when whoever it was entered the kitchen.

"Good morning", I pretty much guessed it was Artie before he spoke/mumbled/groaned. If it had been Mattie he would have just walked straight to the coffeemaker and only grazed me with his morning croaking after taking a sip straight from the coffeepot that contained the leftovers from last night. Hey, I had been living with him long enough to know his morning rituals.

"Morning Artie~", I answered. I was hidden from his vision by the refrigerator door. He walked past me fully clothed and sat down by the table. Only when he turned to say something his half lidded eyes widened and he turned red.

"Y-you! Put some clothes on!" he screeched and quickly looked away. I looked down at myself and giggled. Oh yeah, I was still only in my boxers and the apron covered them. I looked back up at Arthur who was fidgeting in his seat and looking everywhere but me. I grinned widely and closed the refrigerator door before stalking towards him.

"Wanna see if I'm wearing anything under this~?" I asked and toyed with the hem of the apron, lifting it up slowly. Arthur spluttered loudly and turned even more red. He tried to stutter something and I burst out laughing. He buried his face in his hands and tried to calm down while I had to grab the side of the table to steady myself as I kept laughing. I felt like my guts were about to come out.

"Oh sod off you git!" Artie growled and kicked me sharply on my shin. I fell on my knees but the laughter wouldn't stop, even thought there were now few tears of pain included.

"B-but your face was so amazing!" I wheezed and patted his knee. He huffed and

Slapped my hand away, just for me to grasp his hand. I was starting to calm down a bit, just emitting quiet giggles anymore. I looked up and saw Arthur trying to stop a smile from spreading across his face. The corners of his lips were twitching. Apparently my laughter was catching. My other hand crept up and took a hold of his free one. It jolted a little but he didn't pull away. There was a small comfortable silence as I just watched our joined hands.

"Oh yeah, Artie?" I suddenly remembered something important. He asked me what it was and I grinned.

"I got you a little gift! It's upstairs, but I'll give it to ya later, 'k?" I said and he looked genuinely surprised.

"That's fine I guess, but I don't see why you would get me something… Please tell me that wasn't the reason you dashed out of the house yesterday without even putting on your shoes", Artie frowned and I laughed. I thought it was funny! Never take yourself too seriously!

"Guilty as charged, but don't worry Artie, it's not like I caught a cold or something!" I waved it off and lifted myself up a bit on my knees.

"You didn't, but still…" Arthur mumbled and looked at his lap.

"But you still didn't tell me why you bought me a gift Alfred. As a gentleman I feel bad for not having anything to give you in return", he sighed and I could see just a tint of pink on his cheeks. I raised my arm and lifted his chin so I could see his face better.

"It's okay Artie, really. If you want to repay me so badly, then just wear it all the time", I told him and rubbed his jaw with my fingers. I guess for once I succeeded in creating a good mood, for Artie's face seemed to be inching closer as did mine.

We probably would have ended up in a mind blowing lip-lock if it wasn't for our dear third wheel. I swear I would have kicked his ass out of the house already if he didn't live here.

Matthew entered the kitchen and grouchily me and Artie, who had pulled away as soon as he heard the steps getting closer. I cursed and watched my brother who was staring at an empty coffeepot.

"Where's my coffee?" he hissed and turned to glare at us, ready to murder. I knew better than to leave an empty coffeepot loitering around, so the culprit was pretty clear for everyone. Now all I could do was wait for the explosion and comfort Artie afterwards. Artie lifted his chin and raised a single fat eyebrow at my bro.

"Excuse me, but it was cold and had been standing there the whole evening, so I poured it down the drain, my boy. I'm not surprised how messy this place is considering you leave stuff around", he said and crossed his arms. Mattie was silent. He joined us at the table and sat opposite to Artie, staring at him with a grave expression the whole time. Artie just stared back unfazed. I watched the intense staring contest for quite some time before cleaning my throat loudly. Artie glanced at me worriedly.

"Did you catch cold after all?" he asked and tried my forehead. I shook my head and pouted.

"Sick or not, the bitch better make me some bloody coffee before I shove one of my hockey sticks up his ass sideways", Arthur gaped at Mattie whose face landed against the table as soon as he finished talking. It wasn't long after that the snoring started and I figured it was the best for all of us to make some coffee with lot's of maple syrup.

* * *

So we finally made it to the meeting in one piece. There was a lot of drama on the way and Mattie kept apologizing his behavior to Artie, who was still in shock over how one of his former dear children had acted. I couldn't blame him, not many knew how Mattie acted first thing in the morning. I guess I should have warned him, but this was far more amusing. They continued all the way to the actual meeting room where we were met with pretty a bizarre sight as usual. The nations were pretty much running up the walls and having food fights near the snack table. Yup, just a normal day with the messed up family of nations. Except that in a family the members usually didn't try to seduce each other all the time.

As soon as we entered, there was somebody draping themselves all over Arthur.

"GET OFF ME", Artie screeched and tried to push the wandering hands away from him.

"Honhonhonhon~", a bitchy laughter reached my ears and I spun around to meet Francis groping the living daylights out of **my Artie. **

"BITCH", I lunged at them.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**Next chapter has some fluff and lovey-dovey stuff coming. Finally! But it won't be the last chapter, and believe me, Pervy!Alfred has not disappeared yet!**

**I'll try to update faster this time, and I once more apologize for the time I took on this chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Took me too long again. -bows head in shame- I have no other excuse that writer's block. This chapter is also shorter than the other's and I deeply apologize for that. But to make up for that, we're finally starting to get progress with Alfred and Arthur!**

**Now we get to see some jelly!Alfred and courting of Arthur.**

**By the way Minty-san and Yaoi-san, I'm sorry, but Artie will not be getting a tongue ring. But fear not! I actually like the idea enough to make oneshot about it at some point. I've actually started writing it already, but only a little. I'll continue it now that I got this chapter out!**

**BIG NEWS: The next chapter after this will most likely be the last one. I have already wrote out the end of this story and I can't wait to get it out! It's the perfect ending for this fic and I hope you think so too!**

**But for now enjoy the second last chapter!**

* * *

I threw myself at the pair by the door and managed to make them both lose balance. We landed in a heap on the floor and I wasted no time trying to hurt Francis as much as possible. Sadly I didn't even manage to deliver a single blow before I was grabbed from behind and yanked backwards.

"Alfred, as much as I love the idea of you using your inhuman power to smash his face in at the moment, I'm sad for having to tell you to stop! We're about to start the meeting" Artie growled in my ear and I shuddered at the feeling of his breath on my skin. Oh _god_, that felt good. I wished I could feel more of that but he already leaned back.

"B-but Artie, you always beat each other up in the middle of meetings!" I argued and twisted myself to face him. He huffed and released me. I stumbled to get on my feet while he was still sitting. I offered my hand to him which he gladly took.

"That's because we're special like that", Artie shrugged his shoulders and I gabbed at him. _Whatthehelldidhemeanspecial? _He wasn't allowed to be special with anyone else than me!

"Oh Angleterre, it makes my heart flutter like a thousand butterflies to hear you putting it that way~", Francis purred from where he was sitting just a few feet away and did his dramatic hand motions again..

"Oh shut the bloody fuck up", Artie growled and used his freaky flexibility to throw his leg behind him to kick the frog in the stomach while still grouching. If he was this bendy in bed, it would be the best night of my life.

* * *

Somehow we managed to start the meeting. I spent the first half of the meeting just glaring at Francis across the table and growling silently every time the guy even moved a hair towards Artie. But to my luck my honey seemed to have a sixth sense or something considering Francis' advancing body parts. Every time the Frenchman moved a muscle I could see Artie tensing. I think he even broke his finger few minutes before the halfway break when Francis' hand had came too close to his.

Ludwig announced the break and I was out of my chair like a lightning. In a flash I was standing by Artie's chair and swinging on my heels. Must protect my property from evil thieves named Francis Bonerfoy!

"Yo Artie, let's go get some Mac D's", I jumped up and down and he sighed heavily.

"You know that I have nothing against your greasy heart attacks in a bun, but unlike you I really don't like to eat them that often", he told me and squeaked when I pulled him up by his arm.

"But you haven't had any in ages!" I objected and took a step backwards when he glared at me.

"No, but I got enough when you stuffed one to my face just last night!", he snapped and I flinched. I didn't think he'd still be mad about that! It happened like, yesterday! I even made sure his face was completely squeaky clean afterwards! With my tongue. He really needed to learn how to chill. I was about to retort something back when a familiar laugh reached our ears and made us both shudder. A sly hand found it's way around Artie's shoulders, but it was quickly slapped off. Too bad the owner couldn't be shooed away as easily.

"What is this Amerique? Don't tell me you tried food play on our dear Arthur? Though I can't say I'm all that surprised, you always seemed like the type. Seeing how you fail to function correctly without your daily dose of that greasy goodness you call food", France smiled lewdly and winked at me.

I shuddered again and saw Artie do the same. Dirty old Francis, suggesting I'd waste my second favorite things on earth for messy sex? Although I couldn't deny that Artie eating hamburgers during sex was as arousing image as ever. Sex, Arthur and hamburgers combined were my ultimate fantasy now and forever. For once I was glad that Francis was near me, or I most likely would be sporting a painful boner now. Seeing France's face was enough to make my balls wither away.

"Francis, you're sick", Arthur looked disgusted. I swore in my mind. There went one fantasy that would never come true.

"Lovesick for you mon petit lapin~", France cooed and I growled under my breath. Apparently the bastard wasn't finished yet. From the inside of his jacket he pulled out the most beautiful rose I've ever seen. Even Arte seemed a bit taken aback. Then his expression of shock changed into one of pure adoring. I was panicking inside. Like seriously, my brain was doing cartwheels inside my skull and hitting the bony walls. Nononononono. NO. Artie could not be happy to receive something from that frenchie and WHY DID MY HORNY YOUNG MIND HAVE TO GIVE ME MENTAL IMAGES OF ARTIE RECEIVEING SOMETHING COMPLETELY ELSE FROM THAT WINE SMELLING FROGLEG.

"I picked it out just for you mon Arthur~", Francis purred and much to my distress Arthur accepted the rose and sniffed it. He seemed to fight himself from just burying his nose into the flower. That good eh? Arthur seemed very pleased which was something I couldn't allow to be caused by France of all people.

"Yea? Well I got him this!" I argued and pulled a tiny golden box from my pocket that I tossed to Arthur who caught it and looked puzzled. Now even more nations were getting interested in our little scene.

"You never cease to surprise me my friend. Well mon Angleterre, what are you waiting for? Open it so we'll see what our dear America got you", Francis laughed and leaned on Artie's shoulder. Artie handed him the rose that's stem Francis snapped shorter and placed behind my distracted Iggy's ear. I silently fumed and focused on his face as he carefully removed the emerald ribbon (I saw him putting it to his pocket). He gently removed the gold paper and tossed it somewhere. Now he was holding a small green box that drew even more attention from others. I could see Arthur hesitating for a second before he removed the lid and stared inside with a shocked look in his eyes.

"A-Alfred, what-?", he didn't get to finish before he got interrupted.

"I was supposed to give it to you earlier but I forgot", I mumbled and stared at the floor with a light blush.

"It's a ring!" Francis exclaimed and our audience went crazy. Everybody started talking at once and Francis snatched the box from Arthur before he could react.

"Oh, wait! It was just an earring. Mon Dieu for a moment here I thought little America was going to do something drastic", he announced and laughed merrily. My face was red from embarrassment. I thought it was a nice gift! Sure I had just bought it for my own amusement at first, but I really thought Artie would like it. I was about to shout something to him now that everyone had fallen silent again, but Arthur got to him first.

"Give me that, I'm pretty sure it was for me!" He growled and snatched the box back. Francis yelped and jumped a bit back. Artie sent him one last glare before looking at the box and it's contents again. His face softened a bit as he lifted his gaze to my eyes.

"Thank you Alfred, it's really lovely", he told me with a smile that was a rare sight these past two hundred years. There were several over dramatic gasps heard and I just stared at him dumbfounded. He liked it? Really?

"ARTIEEEEE!"

"AUGH, GET OFF ME!"

* * *

The rest of the meeting had been full out chaos so we decided to call it a day and head home. Well, at least me and Artie. Matthew got kidnapped by Gilbert who once again had snuck into the meeting. Meaning this time we would have guaranteed alone time. It was about the damn time. Today he would be successful!

At the moment they were sitting on a couch in the living room watching TV. The sneaky me had sneaked some sort of a romantic drama movie in the DVD player earlier this morning. I knew that no matter how much Artie denied it, he loved these kind of movies. I had also placed a box of tissues on the coffee table. And they were put to use already. Damn that guy was easily moved to tears. He was trying to hide it but it was so obvious how his shoulders were shaking and quiet sniffles filled the room. I was focusing more on him than the movie. I hated this kind of chick flicks. But anything for my Artiekins.

I glanced sideways at him and lifted a brow. He was trying to dry his face but it was an impossible mission with a dripping wet tissue. Okay, this was just ridiculous. How could I even thing of shagging him against the nearest wall when he was being all runny nosed and teary eyed. I groaned and he looked at me slightly flushed. I rolled my eyes and pulled him to my side, wrapping my arm around him and pushing the tissue box under his nose. He stuttered but in the end said nothing and instead focused on the TV again.

At least I was his hero, even if only a moment.

* * *

He ended up falling asleep next to me on the couch. I was about to wake him up but he looked too adorable while sleeping. So as the perfect gentleman I was, I carried him upstairs to the guestroom. I had a bit difficulties in opening the door, but somehow I managed to let myself in the room without dropping Artie or hitting his head to the doorframe. I made my way silently to the bed and lowered him to the bed. But as everyone is clumsy at some point of their lives, now was my turn. I lost my balance when I noticed too late that Arthur had a nasty little grip on my shirt. I fell right across him, my face hitting the comforter rather violently. I struggled on top of Artie, who surprisingly hadn't woken up. He was stirring, so I tried to remove myself before it was too late. I only managed to wiggle my way even more on top of him, so when he finally opened his eyes, we were face to face.

I was waiting for screaming, but what I got almost caused Texas to jump off my face. As warm lips pressed against mine, I felt like I was about to faint. He was kissing me! Like, really kissing me! I felt my muscles tense as I felt a tongue against my lips. HOLY$H1TBBQONEO1. I had been waiting for this, but now that it was happening, I went into shock. Suddenly I had my mouth full of tongue and I could feel my eyes roll to the back of my head. Man Artie was good, no wonder British people were rated to be the world's best kissers. But I shall not be defeated! I started responding to the kiss and my hands crept up to massage his scalp. His arms had found their way around my neck and one was inching down the back of my shirt. I let my hands wander lower, brushing his sides and stomach. I was getting really into it, when Arthur let out a sound that ruined everything. His tongue left my mouth as another soft snore left him. He had this happy and goofy smile on his face. I was stunned to say at least.

… He was a better kisser than me in his sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello my dear readers! The end is here, but unfortunately, it's just a very, very short chapter. I kinda lost all the ideas for this chapter, so I decided to only publish the part that had been decided from the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed this story and I want to thank you all who had the patience to wait for my slow updates. **

**On to the last chapter!**

* * *

"You really wanted to see me wearing an earring that bad?" Artie asked me. I turned my face to him. We were lying in the backyard of my house. We had spread a huge quilt on the grass and a basket full of different pastries next to it. We laid side by side on the soft quilt and he stared at the earring in his hand. It was already dark outside, but you still couldn't see the stars as well as in the countryside, the city lights being so bright and all even though we weren't in the heart of the city. The bold ring twinkled in the light that came from the windows of my house. I smiled softly, knowing he wasn't paying attention to my facial expressions. Damn, if this wasn't romantic then I don't know what was. I wanted to say something, but instead I ended up doing something I wasn't sure that Artie would appreciate.

I leaned up on my elbow and loomed over him before leaning down. He didn't move an inch, just stared up at me with those green eyes that looked almost black in the dark. Our lips were almost touching when I heard the backdoor of my house open and Mattie apologize for taking so long with the tea. I was surprised enough to lose my balance and ended up smashing my lips against Artie's nose and cheek. He quickly wiped off the saliva on his face and told me how disgusting it was, but I could see him holding back a wide smile. I couldn't help but start laughing in near hysterics. I was one big epic failure but most of the blame could once again be placed on my brother. But this time I didn't even bother to be mad when Mattie sat down on the other side of Artie and placed the thermos bottle between them and two cups and a can of soda next to it.

I saw Arthur slip the earring to his pocket and shook my head. He would wear it. I'd make sure of that. But right now I was craving for some sweets and reached for the basket. We ended up sitting in a ring and talked about everything pointless until both of my most important people were just about ready to fall asleep on my both sides. For a moment it was silent, but as you people already know, silence was an unknown expression for me.

"… I LOVE YOU GUYS", I shouted and they both jumped five feet in the air. I didn't give them time to figure out what was going on before I pulled them to my sides and squeezed the living daylights out of them.

Oh yeah, this was the life.


End file.
